Yesterday I replaced my grip shifters with trigger shifters. I’ll never go back! #biking #shimano #bikes #bike #bicycle
Experiences can leave us with some painful memories. They tie us to the past and prevent us moving on. And the only way to freedom is to work on letting go – so these memories don’t haunt us or keep us trapped in pain. Below are some guidelines to help you work on this.
1. Before you can…
"As an introvert, you can be your own best friend or your own worst enemy. The good news is, we generally like our own company, a quality that extroverts often envy. We find comfort in solitude and know how to soothe ourselves. Even our willingness to look at ourselves critically is often helpful."
— Laurie Helgoe (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
If you are able to, you have a moral obligation to grow a beard.
I keep trying, but
Today
I’m taking it day by day. My mom took me to old navy to get a pair of shorts (I tried my old ones on but I apparently lost more weight than I thought since last summer [from a 32 to a 29]).
After that, I went to the church to clean up and set up for Wednesday. The receptionist at the church asked me how I was doing and I said I was hanging in there.
After I got everything set up, Zac, Christianne, and I went to visit Heather’s family. Heather was incredibly strong. George didn’t say much but we hugged each other tight. Sue was sad and she broke down for a bit. She asked me to get a tie that belonged to Jordan. I told her I would. I also met Jordan’s dad and step mom. They are genuinely great people. The families are obviously hurting, but they are definitely in a healing process.
After that we had a meeting for the leaders of Under1. Lynn gave us some grief counseling 101 and that helped a lot. We talked about how we were going to plan out Wednesday’s service.
After that, Zac and I went to the parsonage to get the tie that Sue asked for. We brought it over to the the family.
After that, I hung out with some awesome people from my church and we just laughed and had a great time.
The whole situation still seems unreal. Tomorrow I’ll call work and let them know that I won’t be able to come on Saturday.
Overall today was a good day. I feel like progress is being made but I’m still praying for Heather and Jordan’s families.
1. Pay attention to what bugs you – it could be telling you something important about yourself.
2. Don’t just live with blah or negative feelings. Decide that you will fight to have a happier life.
3. Don’t change or stifle your personality. You’re valuable and special – so be true to who…
Today
Today I went to work.
I didn’t tell anyone what happened and I don’t think anyone knew yet. I kept it all to myself. Every customer I had was extremely nice to me today so that was good. I tried to be happy and laugh with people and joke around but I’m just not strong enough.
Lifegroup tonight was powerful. Kara talked about the purpose of suffering and death and Austin lead us in a group discussion. I spoke first…I blubbered like a baby as I regrettably admitted that there were unresolved issues between Jordan and I. They were all small things, but they become giants I don’t know how to face now that he’s gone for good. Jordan and I may have fought like brothers, but that’s because we were like brothers.
I’ve never lost somebody so close to me and I don’t know how I’m going to handle it.
I always consider myself an emotional juggernaut. I just let things roll off me like water off a duck’s back. I put a smile on and crack jokes. Usually I internalize everything and rationalize it. While I figure things out on my own, I put up a front for everyone. I act strong so others can count on me to brighten their day.
But this time it’s different. I’m the one who’s leaning on others. I’m the one crying my eyes out on people’s shoulders. I’m the one who can’t do this on my own.
I’ve realized how much I need my church family. Austin has been a great encouragement. Zac has offered me a place to stay since I can’t sleep in my apartment for a while (the place makes me sad, but the worst part is that I’m there alone). David has hugged me more than I can repay. Kara has offered great wisdom.
I think God allows situations I can’t handle to show me I can’t do this on my own.
I’m at my parent’s house tonight. I need something familiar and safe. I probably won’t sleep tonight and that’s okay.
This was what aired a few hours ago concerning my friend Heather.
What they failed to show after she said, “It’s very hard to understand why God would take him from me and leave me here..” was her saying that she’s trusting that God can bring some good from it and knowing God’s not done with her yet ….wow. (our friend and co-leader Austin was there with her and shared what they left out).. I mean what strength.
She is a fighter and it’s so cool seeing what God is doing, despite this heart-wrenching time. So many people are coming to Christ through this and our church/body of believers have never been more unified. It’s amazing how Jordan’s legacy hasn’t stopped after death, but his life’s mission to lead people to Christ is continuing still. God is so good, even in this time of mourning.
Thank you all for your prayers, I ask you would continue to pray as God is working something huge for His kingdom.
Side note: we had life groups tonight to pray and talk with a few of the students about everything, they came and aired some of it. It will be on at 11. We’re praying our pursuit of Christ through this time will help be a strong witness.
